You are What You Eat

Adding to my ever-growing list of Things I Never Thought I’d Hear Myself Say… “Yes, please eat some more grass.  I bet your belly hurts after eating all that underwear.” I can’t say it enough.  Underwear is not food.

That’s Not How I Want the Laundry Done

Adding to my list of “Things I Never Thought I’d Hear Myself Say”… “Are you a thirsty boy?  Well, eating underwear will do that to you.” This gem was preceded by, “No no no!  You can’t eat underwear!  It simply isn’t done in polite society.”

Eat Dirt

Adding to my list of things I never thought I’d hear myself say… “I adore you so.  Even if you do eat dirt and then puke it up.” I do adore her so.  And she does eat dirt and puke it up.  And I continue to love her.  I’d like to find a person I…

The Tomato Thief

This evening’s Thing I Never Thought I’d Hear Myself Say: “Did you just steal a tomato?!  No, no, no!  You can’t bring it inside!  Leave the tomato outside!  Well, okay, but you have to eat your tomato in the kitchen.”

Things I Never Thought I’d Hear Myself Say

I’ve decided this needs to be another regular feature on my blog, because it happens so often.  Today’s thing I never thought I’d hear myself say: “No, Honey.  You can’t take Mommy’s underwear outside.”